What is better than the three-day weekend? Answer: Four-day weekend. But since the latter is not readily available, I shall take the former and run with it.
Having an extra day of the weekend is like a mini-vacation. And I usually decide to take this opporrunity as a stay-cation, even though the three-day weekend is a great time to go away somewhere without having to take off a day of work. It gives me even more, much needed time to make love to my TV/dvr and to do nothing. And as you know, those are my two favorite things to do... even though they’re kind of one thing/the same thing, but whatever.
Recently I’ve decided to get really crazy and stray from my nights of doing nothing by going out after work. Seriously, in the past two weeks I’ve only had two “stay at home and watch TV" nights. That is not to say that I don’t watch TV once I get home, semi-inebriated, on the nights I do go out. I obviously crawl into bed and go right to my dvr and I’m pretty sure I’m smiling the entire time. Sometimes I even shed a tear at how happy I am to be in my bed and with my TV. And then I shed another tear at how sad it is that that makes me so happy. It’s a Catch-22 of sorts.
One issue with it though, is that I managed to have Krunch Pizza three times in one week (that was last week) and sliders from Spitzers twice this week. What? Don’t judge me. It was all delicious. And I justify these meals because on these crazy drinking nights I don’t eat dinner and then obviously once I’m drunk (or slightly tipsy from my second, and probably last, drink) I have a great drunk munch, which takes the place of dinner and then usually makes me hate life in the morning.
So back to this whole “going out” on a weeknight thing. Don’t worry, I’m so far from hardcore it’s scary. By “going out” I mean having two drinks, maybe three if I’m feeling frisky. But I have managed to do some really fun activities that I think I’m only motivated to go to because of the weather. I went to three concerts in two weeks. THREE. That’s just impressive. One was a concert and the other two were more like "gigs" but I fully enjoyed all of them. So now that I’m all tuckered out from doing things, it’s time to talk about some possibilities to fill the free time a three-day weekend brings.
So without further ado, I bring you my favorite three-day weekend activites:
Day Drinking – this is one of the most obvious things to do on a three-day weekend. No work on Monday? Why NOT get tanked on a Sunday? Day drinking goes great with warm weather, but the other great thing about it is that it is also an excellent bad weather activity, should your glorious three-day weekend be plagued by rain. Day drinking in bad weather is a sure-fire way to turn your frown upside down… and then possibly spew some vomit out of there too. But if the weather IS nice, what are you supposed to do in nice weather? Lay in the sun? Eh, you can only do that for so long, and I don’t recommend a sunburn, my last sunburn peeled for a month straight, it was awful. Play sports? Eh, too active. Sit outside and drink with friends (or by yourself)? YES! It’s kind of like the riddle “is the water blue because it reflects the ocean or is the ocean blue because it reflects the sky?” Do you day drink because it is nice out or is it nice out because you’re day drinking… No?
More Day Drinking- And the other great thing about day drinking, is that it opens you up to a different genre of drinks than night drinking. Going to brunch? Drink a mimosa or a bloody mary. Sitting by the pool or on the beach? Go for a Corona with a lime, a Twisted Tea or if you're lucky enough somewhere where Fire Fly vodka is readily available make an alcoholic Arnold Palmer, or just mix it with water and ice. (Unfortunately, Fire Fly vodka is not yet available in the greater New York metro area. I spent 2 hours at work one day, locked in an office, calling different package stores to find out where I can get this delicious and amazing sweet-tea flavored vodka. It wasn't mission difficult, it was mission impossible. And I failed miserably)
TV/Movie Watching – if you have the luxury of an extra day off work, what better time is there to catch up on TV and movies that you’re behind on. Because if you don’t catch up, you’re not going to be able to hold conversation with your co-workers (thank God I don’t work in a real office anymore). Obviously if the weather is awesome you want to be outside (see above) but if it’s raining there is ample time to get a movie OnDemand, or even actually go to a movie in theaters (aggressive, I know), or just go through your dvr and watch everything you have. This is perfect for the third day of a three-day weekend because there are certain errands you just can’t complete on a “bank holiday”: You can’t go to the post office, you can’t go to the bank, go to a Dr.’s appointment, go to the dry cleaner, go to the shoe repairman (these are all a bunch if things that I need to do that I will not be able to accomplish in the extra weekend day). I am well versed in how to kill time on a day like that, as is every Jew who has nothing to do on Christmas.
Go Shopping- This is another good one, regardless of weather. If the weather is nice then you enjoy your stroll between stores, maybe grab some lunch outside. If it’s not nice out then you can go to big stores you can spend hours in (the day NYC gets a Target will be the day I… move out of my apartment and into a Target… or go to the Target to buy light bulbs or toilet paper and end up spending $100 on a regular basis. The possibilities are endless). But other than this just being a grand activity any day of the week, on many three-day weekends, including this one, there are SALES up a storm! If there’s something I like more than buying things, it’s buying things at a discounted price (sticking it to the man, if you will).
Smoke a Bowl- Fun for the whole family.
ENJOY THE THREE-DAY WEEKEND!!! And a special message/suggestion for the people out there who some how have today off too, making their weekend a four-day weekend: Go fuck yourself.
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Friday, May 22, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Who wants to be... a mill-a-nare?
FINALLY it is relevant for me to whine about Slumdog Millionaire, the most overrated movie of all time, again. I wrote most of this about a month ago, when I was so filled with anger towards Slumdog I just needed to vent.
Today is the DVD and blu-ray release of the film that won Best Picture at the Oscars this year. And I’m pretty sure it’s still playing in many movie theaters. Don’t ask me how that works, but if you know please feel free to educate me.
Has a more mediocre film ever won Best Picture? The answer is most likely yes, but this one really stuck in my craw. People scoff at me when I refer to Slumdog as the worst movie ever, but it is simply an equal and opposite reactionary exaggeration to calling it the “Best Picture of the Year”. Although when I looked back on the list of Best Picture winners for the past 10 years, I’ve only seen half of them, so I’m probably not the most informed critic. Don’t care.
The Slumdog effect is very similar to the Little Miss Sunshine effect. Yeah, it was a good film. Yeah, it was entertaining enough. Yeah, it was different than the movies we usually see. But Best Picture? Are you mad? Do NOT call me the second you get out of the theater saying Slumdog the best movie you’ve ever seen and everyone you know has to go see it immediately, because that’s retarded. And I got no less than three of those phone calls. But at least Little Miss Sunshine didn’t win Best Picture.
The only time I’ve chosen the correct winner for Best Picture was for The Departed. But seriously, if you didn’t like the departed you should probably question your status as a human being. Because that movie was absolutely mind blowing.
I like a good underdog story as much as, if not more than, anyone/everyone. And although the content of Slumdog was a seriously mediocre underdog story with such unrealistic twists and turns, paired with a completely underdeveloped romantic relationship, the actual movie, because of it’s non-mainstream content, is also an underdog in itself. But to really be an underdog you have to at least be better than the competition to win. And Slumdog just wasn’t.
Both Milk and Benjamin Button were FAR superior to Slumdog. I didn’t even like The Wrestler that much but if I was on the Acadamy, and for some reason there were only two films nominated for Best Pitcure, and they were The Wrestler and Slumdog, I would have chosen The Wrestler, just to stick it to Slumdog.
Seriously though. Lets do a quick recap of the general plot. Jamal won a million dollars on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire because he coincidentally knew the answer to every question because of an event in his interesting/tough/slummy life. And then he was in love with this girl, who he basically hasn’t known or had any communication with since he was like six years old. Nothing chaps my ass like an underdeveloped romantic relationship in a film. Nothing (this second “Nothing” is for you, Notting Hill). Half of the meaningful shit he experienced he didn’t even go through with her. And now she’s one in a band of skanks that belong to some drug lord or gangster or whatever. I did like how she finally escaped, but please. I’m just not buying it (and I’ll buy some pretty cheesy shit when it comes to movies).
Something I do, when I watch movies and TV, is constantly predict what is going to happen next. When I’m right I get really excited, and when I’m not, the surprise of what happens instead is how I decide if I like something or not. Slumdog was completely off of my prediction path and the surprise of what happened instead was disappointment after disappointment. First of all, with all of those kids running around in the beginning, I was sure there was going to be some sort of sexual molestation going on. But no — just gauging out some eyes with a hot spoon. I usually expect/look forward to sexual molestation in the plot of a movie because I watch A LOT of Law & Order: SVU. A. Lot.
The other main thing I saw happening, which did not, was an in depth look at the corrupt government in India in which the POLICE were torturing Jamal to find out how he was cheating on a fucking television game show. COME ON! Slumdog is a poor man’s Quiz Show — another far superior film, but this one is from the 90’s, directed by Robert Redford, also nominated for Best Picture, and about the TV game show scandals of the 1950s. I’ve seen it about 30 times, no biggie. And coincidentally Quiz Show hinges on a contestant taking a dive on an easy question about which film won Best Picture that year! Feels good to come full circle, doesn’t it?
And my final gripe about Slumdog — if the Oscar winning song had been played at all before they rolled the freaking end credits, that would have been nice. Don’t save a gem like that ‘til the end. I knew the song before I saw the movie and was waiting for it patiently (or not patiently at all) the entire time. Introduce it at some point during the film and then bring it back for the end credits! Jai ho, bitches.
Today is the DVD and blu-ray release of the film that won Best Picture at the Oscars this year. And I’m pretty sure it’s still playing in many movie theaters. Don’t ask me how that works, but if you know please feel free to educate me.
Has a more mediocre film ever won Best Picture? The answer is most likely yes, but this one really stuck in my craw. People scoff at me when I refer to Slumdog as the worst movie ever, but it is simply an equal and opposite reactionary exaggeration to calling it the “Best Picture of the Year”. Although when I looked back on the list of Best Picture winners for the past 10 years, I’ve only seen half of them, so I’m probably not the most informed critic. Don’t care.
The Slumdog effect is very similar to the Little Miss Sunshine effect. Yeah, it was a good film. Yeah, it was entertaining enough. Yeah, it was different than the movies we usually see. But Best Picture? Are you mad? Do NOT call me the second you get out of the theater saying Slumdog the best movie you’ve ever seen and everyone you know has to go see it immediately, because that’s retarded. And I got no less than three of those phone calls. But at least Little Miss Sunshine didn’t win Best Picture.
The only time I’ve chosen the correct winner for Best Picture was for The Departed. But seriously, if you didn’t like the departed you should probably question your status as a human being. Because that movie was absolutely mind blowing.
I like a good underdog story as much as, if not more than, anyone/everyone. And although the content of Slumdog was a seriously mediocre underdog story with such unrealistic twists and turns, paired with a completely underdeveloped romantic relationship, the actual movie, because of it’s non-mainstream content, is also an underdog in itself. But to really be an underdog you have to at least be better than the competition to win. And Slumdog just wasn’t.
Both Milk and Benjamin Button were FAR superior to Slumdog. I didn’t even like The Wrestler that much but if I was on the Acadamy, and for some reason there were only two films nominated for Best Pitcure, and they were The Wrestler and Slumdog, I would have chosen The Wrestler, just to stick it to Slumdog.
Seriously though. Lets do a quick recap of the general plot. Jamal won a million dollars on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire because he coincidentally knew the answer to every question because of an event in his interesting/tough/slummy life. And then he was in love with this girl, who he basically hasn’t known or had any communication with since he was like six years old. Nothing chaps my ass like an underdeveloped romantic relationship in a film. Nothing (this second “Nothing” is for you, Notting Hill). Half of the meaningful shit he experienced he didn’t even go through with her. And now she’s one in a band of skanks that belong to some drug lord or gangster or whatever. I did like how she finally escaped, but please. I’m just not buying it (and I’ll buy some pretty cheesy shit when it comes to movies).
Something I do, when I watch movies and TV, is constantly predict what is going to happen next. When I’m right I get really excited, and when I’m not, the surprise of what happens instead is how I decide if I like something or not. Slumdog was completely off of my prediction path and the surprise of what happened instead was disappointment after disappointment. First of all, with all of those kids running around in the beginning, I was sure there was going to be some sort of sexual molestation going on. But no — just gauging out some eyes with a hot spoon. I usually expect/look forward to sexual molestation in the plot of a movie because I watch A LOT of Law & Order: SVU. A. Lot.
The other main thing I saw happening, which did not, was an in depth look at the corrupt government in India in which the POLICE were torturing Jamal to find out how he was cheating on a fucking television game show. COME ON! Slumdog is a poor man’s Quiz Show — another far superior film, but this one is from the 90’s, directed by Robert Redford, also nominated for Best Picture, and about the TV game show scandals of the 1950s. I’ve seen it about 30 times, no biggie. And coincidentally Quiz Show hinges on a contestant taking a dive on an easy question about which film won Best Picture that year! Feels good to come full circle, doesn’t it?
And my final gripe about Slumdog — if the Oscar winning song had been played at all before they rolled the freaking end credits, that would have been nice. Don’t save a gem like that ‘til the end. I knew the song before I saw the movie and was waiting for it patiently (or not patiently at all) the entire time. Introduce it at some point during the film and then bring it back for the end credits! Jai ho, bitches.
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