Monday, June 14, 2010

Stop Being Such a Slut.

There are many things wrong with the sense of entitlement that kids these days have. It certainly came with the change in times. I quote my favorite show “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” to exemplify this phenomenon, “The kids aren't bopping anymore - they're banging each other and doing meth before grade school.”

Although that’s a little extreme, it’s true enough. Things are different now than they were just 10 years ago, when I was 15. Sometimes I think that my age group was the first to really make this transition into being completely inappropriate and slutty for our age. But the girls the age group below me (3-4 years younger) were a totally different breed of whore starting from early middle school.

It was like my grade opened the door to sluttiness and the younger girls ran right through it. As my mom liked to describe them, “Those girls will give you a blow job before they give you a handshake”.

So here’s my perspective. I’m going to again put partial blame for this on the girls (again). I’m going to put the another part of the blame on the parents. And of course the boys are to blame too.

In George Huguely’s case, he’s obviously had issues before. If he thought that it was OK to threaten a police officer to the point where she has to taser him, he has some pretty serious anger issues. And I’m going to assume that those anger issues existed long before he went to college. So here I blame his parents for not sending him to a shrink when he was in middle school to find out why he thought it was OK to go around the neighborhood strangling cats and lighting things on fire (I made that up, but I bet he did one, if not both, of those).

Something I’m surprised has not been brought up more since Yeardly Love’s murder is the SAT scandal of 2002. A group of Landon boys cheated on the SATs and got caught. This exemplifies the sense of entitlement more effectively than Yeardley Love's murder because cheating is a non-violent crime. These boys had no issue with breaking the rules to better their performance on a major test after their parents most likely spent thousands of dollars on tutors to prepare them for it. No one got hurt, they just thought so highly of themselves that they didn't have to follow the rules and they could get away with it.

Before I get all high and mighty I’m going to say I went to a high school where everyone cheated. There was an actual front-page article on the New York Times the year after I graduated that discussed the rampant cheating problem among children in wealthy towns. I cheated significantly less often than many people I know but to say I never cheated would be a bold-faced lie.

Maureen Dowd wrote an op-ed piece for the Times last week calling out Landon boys for having a draft-style game where they rated the incoming freshman girls. Maybe my school prepared me for this more than others. If there aren’t programs and forums for these kinds of things to be discussed before the middle schoolers enter high school then that’s just sad.

It’s time to accept that times are different and that stuff like this happens all the time. It’s going to keep happening if you don’t prepare the victims for it. We’ve already squashed the hazing problem in most schools -- it was done at my high school by the time I was a sophomore. For freshman volleyball initiation I had buy condoms and pregnancy tests at CVS and then read a poem to a senior football player. Gasp!

The fact that "all in good fun" stuff like that had to cease to exist because other girls thought it would be OK to make their freshman give blow jobs to carrots (the girls were blindfolded and did not think it was a carrot about to end their mouths) is unfortunate. But am I the only one with any spine? If someone blindfolded me and told me I was about to give my first blow job to God knows who at age 14 I would have said "hells no" and gotten the hell out of there. Is everyone really so desperate to be accepted??

The cheating, the slut-draft, and the drunk murder all have something in common – sense of entitlement. I could pretend like I know how to fix this. I know I see too many aspects of the world in a simple black and white and that I’m also totally jaded -- but Maureen Dowd and parents flipping out about this draft is weird to me. I don’t think the draft is a good thing, but if none of the girls went to this “opening day party” and slutted it up with the upperclassmen, then it wouldn’t be a big deal. And although Dowd’s article doesn’t go into that, I’m assuming that’s what happened.

And does anyone know guys (of all ages) are!? Are you aware if an older group of guys are inviting a younger group of girls to hang out that it’s not to play hop scotch and drink cream soda? Hop scotch is booze and sex and cream soda is semen. Stop being so naive.

My guy friends in high school used to do crap like this with the younger girls all the time. Invite younger girls over to a house and the girls would all end up performing some sort of striptease culminating in being naked in a hot tub. The guys continued to act like this through college and they continue to act like this now as 25-year-old young professionals. Everyone thinks this is OK because the fact that those girls are willing and able make it OK.

If the guys made a draft of hottest girls and none of those girls hook up with them, then who are the foolish ones -- the girls whose names are written on a piece of paper or the guys with blue balls and no girls to hang out with?

But there is always going to be at least 1 of the top 5 of girls on that list who has enough daddy issues to embrace being called hot enough to hook up with these losers. And that girl is the one who ruins it for everyone. The one who gives guys the idea that what they’re doing is OK. And the one who make sluttiness seem normal to the rest of the soon-to-be slutty girls.

I’m not taking the Tina Fey in Mean Girls stance, which is for girls to stop calling each other sluts and whores so that guys don’t think it’s ok to also do that. I think name calling is fine and all in good fun. I call for girls to actually stop being sluts and whores. And THAT is how to make a change. It would also probably help if politicians and professional athletes stopped cheating on their spouses and in their professions as well. But I don't see any of that happening anytime soon.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Where My Mother Fathers At?

I feel like I’m posting videos like every day. But when someone sends me a good vid, I feel it my social obligation to share it with you all (that's ya'll for the southern readers). And it also usually provides for a shorter post in which I’m not angrily ranting about something while sweating with anger as I punch away at my keyboard.

This video came to me a couple weeks back courtesy of my soon-to-be-30 lawyer friend down in the District of Hell... I mean... Columbia. That reminds me, I really need to write a post about why I hate DC so much.

This video inspired me to write about something more, something important, something I hold near and dear to my heart - my love of minivans.

I used to have the typical anti-minivan mindset that is so popular for many last-name-keeping forward-thinking ladies out there - that minivans are ugly and embarrassing. A symbol of our youth coming to an end. The death of cool.

But mostly just because they’re ugly and you would prefer to drive a tricked-out giant SUV that guzzles gas and pollutes the environment so your grandchildren will die coughing up a lung at the age of 16. That’s fine, that’s your choice. Al Gore and Tipper broke up so I don’t even know what to think about global warming anymore! That’s a joke, I’m still a greenie, somebody buy me a Prius!

But one summer in high school I drove with two friends to Boston for a John Mayer concert (yea we did). Because my car was straight out of 1988 my parents didn’t want me taking it on a long trip. So I took the family minivan, and… I fell in love.

And it wasn’t just any mini van. It was a Toyota Sienna minivan. The very minivan featured in the video above, which is awesome and hilarious. Young people want to be old and old people want to be young. Benjamin Button really knew what he was doing. Ugh, Brad Pitt on a sailboat. Swoon.

Anyway, I thought that video was great and wanted you all to see it and I thought it would also be a pertinent time to come out of the closet, if you will, as a minivan lover. I might have to get one before I’m married with kids, because they’re just that amazing. And let's be honest, "married with kids" is not too close on my horizon. Seriously though, you will not find a smoother ride than in a mini van.

One part of driving a SUV/van as opposed to a sedan, and this is for the ladies, is the space between the driver’s seat and the passenger’s seat. It’s the perfect place to put your bag and other random shit. This space, in a mini van, is absolutely colossal. You could house a family of 4 in the space between the driver’s seat and passenger’s seat.

Ok, that’s all from me. I hope you don’t think less of me when I’m driving a mini van before I turn 30…