Thursday, December 27, 2012

The Best Nonsense of 2012: Movie Edition

I quick note to you, the reader, after a not-so-brief hiatus from spewing nonsense... Thanks for reading. I missed you. And I will start this off by saying most, but not all, of the material below are 2012 originals. I threw a couple of 2011 classics in there because I love them just as much, if not more, than I did in 2011. Or I didn't discover it until 2012. OK!?!?!?!?!

The Best Movies of 2012

I mean, the fact that no one made a Glee-style movie (Glee 3D Concert Movie does not count) is just silly. I mean, I’m mad at myself for not doing it. Honestly. Almost as mad at myself as I am for not patenting my idea of… that thing I thought of that time that is now just everywhere. Everywhere, I say! Movies with great soundtracks are my favorite. And this movie doesn’t just have a great soundtrack, it’s a soundtrack filled with amazing old school beats such as No Diggity (my mom’s favorite song out of the pop music I made her listen to in our Toyota Sienna minivan when she carted me around in middle school), I Saw The Sign (the first Compact Disc I ever owned, which I received as a Chanukah gift in ‘93), Hit Me With Your Best Shot, Let’s Talk About Sex, and the theme song to the Breakfast Club. There are also plenty of current hits as well. If you’ve ever seen Glee, you know how this goes down. But this is way better. And way less charicature-y. And better. And because the kids are college age it's less icky/disturbing when they hook up. 

Oh, and Brittany Snow is in it and I will literally watch anything she's in. And it should be noted I hated Anna Kendrick until I saw this movie, even though it's a total rip off of Bring It On but with acapella competition instead of cheerleading competition. If Kiki Dunst and Eliza Dushku starred in this instead of Bring It On I probably would have shit my pants. But yeah, it's the Bring It On of 2012. Watch it. Download the soundtrack. Listen to it all the time. Work out to it. Cry to it. I haven't done any of those things (I've done all of those things). 

And anything that Rebel Wilson does is going to be just silly hilarious. She is the blonde & young Melissa McCarthy and she can do no wrong. 


If I wrote a romantic comedy, this is what I’d want it to be. It’s kind of like 500 Days of Summer in that whole “This isn’t a Love Story” kind of love story . And indie. And an amazing soundtrack, that’s also pretty indie. And one of my favorite people of 2012, Chris Messina, is in it. But the stars, Andy Samburg and Rashida Jones (who also co-wrote it) are amazing. And their best friends, one of my other favorite people of 2012, Ari Graynor, (also in the next movie I'm going to rant about) and Eric Christian Olsen are really great too. Everyone is just so perfect. The guy who co-wrote the movie with Rashida Jones is also in it as their good friend and drug dealer. Oh yeah, they smoke a good amount of pot, so what's not to love? And you know I'm going to also love any movie where something like this happens:

That's just, too amazing for words. 


This movie is the good kind of bad. But like, if you take the time to realize, it’s actually not bad at all. Ok, it’s amazing. I’m obsessed with it. I’ve taken to a strict rule of If “What’s Your Number?” is on, I watch it. Which is why I’m watching it right now. It’s fantastic to focus on and also for background noise. And Chris Evans is ridiculously good looking and sexy. 

In like a way that you're not so sure of at first and then as the movie progresses you become very sure of. And I guess Ana Faris is too? If you like people who look super plasticky… But pull it off because they’re so hilarious. Until this movie it bothered me how dumb Ana Faris always sounds. And it’s not what she’s saying. It’s how she says it.  But with this movie somehow that falls away and hilarity ensues.

What kind of single girl antics with this Boston late 20s / early 30s blonde get into next?? It’s up to you to find out! And just in case I haven’t convinced you, because I'm not sure I've convinced myself with this little write up (and I’ve seen the movie 20+ times in the last 4 months) it was co-written by Jennifer Crittenden, who produced/wrote for the following shows (which I will list in most impressive to least impressive in my taste): Seinfeld, Arrested Development,The New Adventures of Old Christine, Everybody Loves Raymond, The Simpsons, The Drew Carey Show. If that’s not a sure sign of success, than I don’t know what is. And yeah, it’s more of a girl movie than a guy movie. But if you’re a guy who can manage to put down their video game remote control for long enough to enjoy a RomCom, get into it. 

And finallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

If you ever wondered what a 2+ hour episode of Homeland would be like, this is the answer. I've been having issues this past year with movies I already know the endings to ( i.e. Hitchcock -- "Omigosh, are they going to release Psycho even though there's partial nudity and blood!?!? And a shot of a toilet!?!" Clutches chest and gasps/faints. Yes... yes... Psycho gets released and is a big success and this movie did a horrible job at creating real suspense or doubt of that...)  But Zero Dark Thirty is 2 and a half hours you will not regret and that you will not once look at your watch/phone during and will not once shift around if your seat uncomfortably because who wants to sit in a not-so-comfortable movie theater seat for over 2 hours!?!?!? No one does. No one. My legs are cramping just thinking about it. 

My favorite part of the experience of seeing this movie was the old man talking to himself behind me. When they (SPOILER ALERT but not really because we all know what happens) shoot Osama Bin Laden dead this old guy in super old man voice goes "That's him." It was amazing. Ask me to do the voice for you next time you see me. You won't regret it. 

And Chris Pratt is amaz hilar in it. And there are great guest cameos throughout. And you would think that after Argo it's like, enough with these highly intense dramas about Middle Eastern drama, but it's not. I want more! Homeland season 3, when do you start!?!?! But seriously, and I don't say this a lot, I literally cannot imagine someone not enjoying Zero Dark Thirty. I really don't think it's possible. 

Honorable Mentions: Argo, Arbitrage, ****Bachelorette**** (Am I being lazy for not writing about this? Maybe. See it. I'm obsessed), For A Good Time Call 

Worsts: Nobody Walks, Django, Les Mis, Skyfall, ***Looper*** (Movie I hated most this year)

Friday, February 17, 2012

Go see a funny movie!

Last week I was lucky enough to see Wanderlust starring Jennifer Aniston, Paul Rudd, Justin Theroux, and Malin Ackerman. I give this film two thumbs up, but it’s definitely not for everyone. From members of the comedy crew who brought us Wet Hot American Summer and who are originally from the 1990s MTV sketch show The State, Wanderlust has many oddities and a non-mainstream vibe, but if you don't LOL throughout, then you're a stupid face.

First things first – I was super excited to see the movie in which Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux fell in love. A quick word on why I love Jennifer Aniston – I’m not sure why. But I’m legit obsessed with her and think she’s perfect. I typically have a hatred (like a really strong and angry hatred) for people who don’t have a very defined personality (as she has been accused of), wet blankets, if you will. But like Lauren Conrad, I love her anyway and want only the best for her in life. And I want to be her. Did you just put Jennifer Aniston and Lauren Conrad in the same sentence? Yes. Yes, I did. Ok, moving on…

What happens is Linda (Jennifer Aniston) and George (Paul Rudd) want to take the next step in their married life – buying an apartment in New York City. The opening scene is with their realtor, an old woman, who somehow ends up talking about her blind husband and how she can get him off with one flick of her wrist. So yeah, if that kind of crassness offends you or isn’t up your alley, then this movie probably isn’t for you cause it gets more offensive and gross (but, in my opinion, an amazing way).

George and Linda end up buying a super expensive teeny tiny studio in the West Village (which, honestly looks really cute and cool even if they do have to sleep on a Murphy bed). George loses his job and they have to give up the apartment and move to Atlanta to live with his dickish brother Rick (Ken Marino, who also co-wrote the movie) in Atlanta.

On the way they stumble across an Inn and end up staying the night. They find out it’s not an Inn, it’s a commune, or as the members refer to it, an “intentional living” community, which is unofficially led by Seth (Justin Theroux). Linda and George have an amazing night hanging out, smoking pot, skinny dipping in the lake, and having sex without falling asleep in the middle of it, all that good stuff.

Anyway, blah blah blah they end up wanting to give commune living a shot, because they have nothing else to do. I would say “and hilarity ensues” but it’s seriously been ensuing this whole time. Paul Rudd is absolutely excellent. At the top of his game, really. I thought he was funny enough in I Love You Man but this brings that to the next level, because unlike that movie, this one is actually hilarious.

The audience laughed out loud at least once every 5 minutes. If you’re a fan of David Wain’s (the director and co-writer) work – Wet Hot American Summer, Role Models, Stella, Children’s Hospital—you will definitely like this and LOL even more often than that (which I did). It’s that kind of humor that’s, to borrow IFC’s catchphrase, is “always on, slightly off”. Besides the random / not-so-random nudity in this movie (there is a slow-mo scene of naked old people running and one of the characters is a nudist), there’s just the general feel that this movie is different. And so great. SO GO SEE IT!

Monday, February 13, 2012

The best show you're not watching

In case you haven’t heard, Cougar Town is not about Cougars. It’s an uh-mah-zing, hilarious and fun sitcom about a group of friends who drink a ton of wine, hang out all the time, and make fun of each other. As creator Bill Lawrence says, it’s a show about “adult friendship”.

Bill Lawrence was also the mind behind Scrubs and Spin City. Basically, the guy knows what he’s doing and he’s fucking hilarious. Unfortunately, he named his show “Cougar Town”, which he freely admits is the worst show title ever. And it’s hard to explain to people that this show is NOT. ABOUT. COUGARS. What’s not to love about a show that refers to drinking wine as “pounding grape”?!?!?! That’s just the tip of the iceberg of awesomeness that is this show. And if you liked Scrubs, you'll like this. And if you didn't like Scrubs, get your shit together. AND if you're going to start watching Cougar Town, DO NOT watch the first 6 episodes of season 1. The show was still getting it's footing and is in no way representative of the series. K thanks.

For the past month of so Cougar Town has been doing an impressive grass roots effort to get the word out about their show – throwing viewing parties in various cities (using their own time and money) where they show two episodes from the upcoming third season, which premieres on ABC tonight at 8:30. I was SUPER psyched to attend one of the two the NYC viewing parties at the Paley Center on Saturday night with the full cast plus co-creators Bill Lawrence and Kevin Biegel.

The two episodes we saw were excellent. LOLs filled the room throughout both. Although I have to say I do prefer watching this show from my couch with a nice wine buzz that keeps me constantly giggling as opposed to in a theater with 100+ super fans who were legit screaming at things like the appearance of Ted Buckland (the lawyer from Scrubs) and his acapella group “The Blanks”, which was exciting but not scream-worthy.

There is also a short but sweet Scrubs reunion scene at the end of one of the episodes. But I couldn’t hear anything anyone said in it because of the spastic squeels from the super fans. I mean, I def also screamed when I saw Zach Braff’s face, but whatever. My favorite part of the Q & A was when someone asked why he had a Scrubs reunion scene, Bill answered “Because I wanted to do a Scrubs reunion scene!” duh!

Anyway, during the panel talk, moderated by's Michael Ausiello, it became clear not only that Bill Lawrence is the captain of the awesome ship that is “Cougar Town” but also that the cast is a group of friends who love each other and have a lot of fun working together.

So the moral of the story is you should definitely give Cougar Town a shot. I know it’s Valentine’s Day but if you could at least record it and check it out, I think you will fully enjoy. And although you don’t HAVE to pour yourself a large glass of pinot (grigio or noir, it’s up to you), it’s highly encouraged that you do.