Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Worst "Scandal" Ever.

Ok, so am I the only person in the world who thinks this whole David Letterman thing has been blown WAY out of proportion? Maybe I am missing something here, and seriously, stop me if I’m wrong, but as I understand it, he had a relationship (SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP!!!) with someone who worked beneath him (pun intended) on his show. He was not married, but was in a relationship with the woman who he is now married to. Breaking it down: He fucked someone who worked for him.

Well, if that is actually what happened, everyone who has been talking about this for weeks should probably kill themselves. This is life people, I might work in an apartment with a senior citizen now, but there was a time where I worked in an office, with actual other people, with actual sexual beings. And I also talk to friends who currently work in an office with other people (and again, sexual beings). Newsflash: most offices are a fucking cesspool of intercourse.

Before I launch into an oddly defensive defense of David Letterman’s actions, let me say I don’t like David Letterman and his comedy at all. After the first time I saw Norm MacDonald imitate him I decided I could never watch him again, because all of the Dave-isms Norm MacDonald mocked were so accurately annoying that they drove me crazy. Most notably the fact that Dave repeats the same joke/phrase 20+ times throughout any episode of his show.

But, on we go.

Do I think it’s right he cheated on his girlfriend (current wife, but girlfriend at the time of this incident)? NO! Of course not. I think cheating is deplorable and almost look forward to the day someone cheats on me so that I can go absolutely ape-shit crazy on that asshole and probably end up scratching his eyes out. Ok, that’s a little extreme (not the ape-shit crazy part, but the looking forward to someone cheating part)and a lie. Being cheated on has got to be one of the worst feelings in the world.

BUT, do I think that people who are Letterman fans should turn around and say “I’m not watching his show anymore”? No. Get over yourself. The man abused his power. Who doesn’t abuse power when they have it? If I had my own company and a bunch of hot young guys working under me ready to fuck, I’d definitely go for it too (so long as I’m single).

So like, I’m really not sure what the big deal is (since I don’t follow the news) and what aspect of this people are so offended by. Is it the boss having sex with an intern thing? Because there’s a whole show based on that concept, and it’s called Grey’s Anatomy. And if that is what the problem is, get over it and welcome to the real world.

If you think I haven’t had a job where my boss was hooking up with / dating my co-worker, think again. In addition to that, my current boss is now married to someone who used to work for him. So I have yet to hold a job where this issue has not come up. That aspect of this whole thing is so far from a big deal and so commonplace, it’s laughable.

As an intern I had whimsical fantasies about hooking up with some hot reporter/news anchor/show host (I had more than a few in mind). I would have been totally down if I had been approached by one of the men that I was actually interested in (all of whom were approximately 1 million times better looking than David Letterman). That really would have been the way to get the most out of my internship experience.What female intern doesn’t want to hook up with a hot older guy? I have definitely said the words “I want to be the next Monica Lewinsky” many many times in my life. Sometimes the words “skinnier and prettier” are thrown in there too. Don’t worry about it, we’re both Jews.

It definitely would have been an easier task to finagle if my actual intern supervisor was a hot guy. But it was an obscenely overweight woman who’s parting advice to her four interns was to drop out of college should any job in the TV industry come their way. Really stellar advice.

Now I’m just mad at myself for talking about this topic when I’m really annoyed that the rest of the world has decided to keep talking about it. I decided to finally find out what actually happened yesterday because I thought I was missing something here, that he did something so terribly awful that it merited the whole world talking about it for weeks on end. FALSE.

I do like how he handled the situation and broke it down on National Television. Definitely commendable.

But I have to say that the most surprising thing about this is that someone actually willingly had sex with David Letterman. And that is coming from someone (me!) who is constantly/consistently attracted to people who are not even sort of good looking. What. A goon.


Brooklynfluff said...

Agreed! I wasn't shocked when I heard this story, I was shocked when I heard this story was treated as a scandal. In all fairness there is blackmail involved, but still. It's not a noteworthy affair unless prostitution is involved...or trannys...or both.

erl said...

THANK YOU!!!!! Dave Letterman is NOT funny. I think that people who think he is funny were forced to lower their standards for humor since they were comparing him to the absolute LEAST funny man in the world: Jay Leno.