Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Feel the rain on your skin!

I prefer the fakest of all reality TV. Because when it’s real it’s just not as funny. I need someone in there intricately setting the scenes and feeding every “character” his/her exact line. A puppet-master, if you will. And though all “reality” shows are fake, I prefer for mine to be as much like a soap-opera as possible (even though I hate soap-operas). Hence, my favorite reality show of all time is The Hills. I may or may not sing along to the entire theme song every time I watch. Every single time.

Let’s be honest. MTV basically invented the concept of Reality TV as far as I’m concerned. With the gem like the Real World (which I probably haven’t watched since the 90’s… blatant lie…)  to kick off a genre of TV that has basically taken over the world. It’s like Reality TV shows are Godzilla and every other type of TV show the world has to offer are the fleeing Japanese. It’s too much for me to handle, as I’m an avid supporter of the Sitcom. Situational. Comedy. What could be better? It’s like life, but funny.

But within the macrocosm of Reality TV we have the microcosm of the Laguna Beach series. MTV really hit that jackpot with that one. Because after however many seasons of Laguna Beach were spun out to The Hills and then The City. There was also one season of Newport Harbor, which should really make a come back. And along the way we just meet an endless cast of characters that could have their own shows. And half the time there’s not even an introduction needed. A new character appears and we, as the viewers just accept them as part of the cast.

I’m excited to see what direction MTV goes once Lauren is done with The Hills. But why would Lauren ever leave The Hills. Bad career move on her part, because her life is so typecast at this point she should really just accept it before she becomes Mischa Barton (Who?? Exactly.)

So last night’s episode of The Hills just made me fall more and more in love with it. Most episodes have that effect on me.

Lets start it off with Stephanie Pratt’s interview with Kelly Cutrone (aka perhaps the most unfortunate looking person to ever walk this earth). Wow. Just… Wow. I thought I was the worst interviewee in the history of job interviews. But this was so bad that my entire body was clenched in some sort of full-body wince for the ENTIRE scene. Seriously though, on one interview I was asked what my strengths and weaknesses were and I think I just laughed and smiled and waited for the next question. The only good interview I’ve ever been on is for the job (“job”) I have now. And it’s my second “real” job since I graduated college. Don’t ask me how I got the first one, although they could have gotten either an intern or anyone with as much as a 4th grade education to do it. Oh, I guess that’s why I got it.

Anyway, the sheer heinousness and awkwardness of Stephanie’s interview scenario was just genius. Who wrote that? I wish the credits for The Hills included titles like “head writer” and horde of other names for “writers” because that is way funnier (and more truthful) than calling them all “Producers”.

Allow me to jump back to the season premiere, which contains my two favorite parts of scripted conversation:

1. When Lauren asks Lo and Steph who invited Heidi to her party. Steph replies “Lo?” and Lauren looks at her and goes “I know it wasn’t Lo, I was just like being nice.”  That was priceless. But who can think of lines like that on the spot?

2. When Lauren decides to have a conversation with Steph about the fact that she invited Heidi to the party. There one point in this argument where Steph is just like begging Lauren to be friends with Heidi again, Lauren asks why Steph thought it would be a good idea to bring Heidi to her birthday party. “Why wouldn’t you just ask me to go out to dinner with her or something?” asks Lauren. Steph: “Because you would have never done that.” Lauren: “Well if I wouldn’t go out to dinner with her than don’t you think I wouldn’t want her at my birthday party either?”

The maze of circular logic Lauren (read: MTV producers) introduced here absolutely blew my mind. I was screaming “GENIUS” at the top of my lungs the second Lauren dropped that amazing line. 

So back to Steph’s interview. Even after Kelly told Lauren it was by far the worst interview she’s ever been a part of Lauren continued to defend Steph and say that she thinks Steph would be a good addition to People’s Revolution. Um… Lauren… If Steph isn’t smart enough to realize letting Heidi tag along to your birthday party isn’t a good idea, you probably don’t want to take responsibility for her actions in the work place.

And yet, I’m beyond excited to see exactly how Steph is going to fuck everything up. That is why this plot line is just so great. It opens up so many doors. Because obviously Steph is going to fuck shit up. There is not a doubt in my mind. But will Lauren get fake fired when Steph fake fucks up? It’s all a journey. 

When I have more time, in the near future, I’m going to devise a list of possible ways Steph is going to fuck up at People’s Revolution.

Anyway, as bad as the acting is on this show sometimes, other times it’s just great. And I really couldn’t ask for more out of a reality TV show. It’s got everything: drama, humor, girls I want to look like, guys I want to slip roofies to. The Hills is the cherry on top of a fabulous night of Monday night television (better known as CBS comedy Mondays- If you don’t watch How I Met Your Mother you should probably just stop watching TV all together, you’re not worth it). 

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