And we’re back! Ok. I’ll go into the last couple of trends I never took part in, because I know you are just DYING to find out.
1. Turtle Neck Sandals.
These guys are new this season. And I have to say, at first I was intrigued by them, then confused, then filled with rage. It’s like a slouchy flat boot that just doesn’t cover your toes. It’s weird. It’s disheartening. First of all, they don’t look that comfortable. Other than their general looseness there’s just something about them that makes me feel like I don’t want to be walking around in them, like they're just going to be a really awkward and uncomfortable foot wedgie. Toe wedgie?
You know how the eyes are the windows to the soul? Well the ankles are the furnace of the leg. They should not be covered, especially in suede or fake suede or whatever it is, in the middle of the summer.
And speaking of imitation-boot sandals. When I see people wearing shit like this I want to go Tanya Harding on their ass and take a crowbar to their legs.
Lemme tell you a little something about Lost. I started watching it before you did. And by started watching it, I mean I watched two episodes. I HATE when people lay claim to things because they did it first. But I do that exact thing all the time and consider myself better and cooler than you in doing so. Ever heard of John Mayer? I was listening to Room for Squares before you were running through the halls of your high school while screaming the lyrics to “No Such Thing” at the top of your lungs. But that’s neither here nor there. I’m aware John Mayer is a HUGE douche but I don’t care. His music sooths my soul.
Ok, back to Lost. One of my roommates junior year watched Lost before any of you. She was way into it from day one. So since I ruled the remote control in my apartment like a freaking Nazi, my roommate had to reserve the TV for Lost weeks in advance and then persuade me to watch the season premiere of season 2 with her. Fine, I’m all for trying new things (am I?) so I decided to give it a whirl.
And I liked it, I really did. It was really intense and like 5 people got shot and some kid was like sold into slavery on a raft or some shit and I think they may have even discovered the hatch? Yes? No? I don’t even know. But I was like, “Wow, this is pretty good.” And then I was just like, “Do I really have the time to be adding hour-long shows into my already very busy Seinfeld re-run watching schedule?” The answer was no, and I never looked back. And two years later, when everyone and their mom decided that they were going to watch Lost and talk about it ALL THE GODDAMN TIME, I was like peace bitches, been there, done that. Like people refusing to go out to dinner or drinks on Wednesday night because they need to get home to watch Lost live. You're an asshole. Watch it on DVR and get over yourself and your nerdy sci fi show.
OK, now here are some of the main trends I fell into, and fell into hard. Some things I will argue with you about all day long until I stop making sense and start arguing against myself but still stand behind my trend. What? Exactly.
I’m sorry, it’s just better. In middle school I somehow conned my parents into buying one of those cool candy colored Macs as our family computer, I believe it was the iMac. And let me tell you, that thing stunk. It was horrible. It never worked and it was so confusing and I hated every second that I was using it instead of admiring its pretty candy-coated exterior. When we finally switched back to a PC in my house I could not have been happier and I swore to myself I would never touch a Mac again if I had any control over it…
But I didn’t… Because Macs are actually all around us. And after using only Macs in the journalism lab in college and having my Acer laptop be the most annoying thing East of the Mississippi and south of the Mason-Dixon, I was convinced to go back to Mac. And I got a MacBook. The very MacBook I am typing on right now, AT THIS VERY SECOND! And I’m so in love with it. It’s not a computer, it’s a friend. It’s a pretty, cool, tech savvy friend that you can take with you everywhere you go!
I know, a PC is what you grew up with. How you first formed a relationship with computer and how you learned your way around. I get it. I was once that way too. But once you let go of that rigid perception of what a computer is supposed to be, it is liberating. Being on a Mac is like being on vacation. It’s relaxing and streamlined and user-friendly. Everything you need is there and it’s all laid out nice and easy. PCs are for fools and old people. Get your head in the game and jump on board. You won’t regret it.
I never was too against Uggs, I don’t think. But it did take me a little while to get actively into Uggs. As long as you don’t have a douchey pair of uggs, like pink with rhinestones or some shit, Uggs are fine. I usually hear the Ugg revolt coming from guys, saying they look stupid. But they don’t. I prefer the Chestnut brown color and the Classic Tall style, and they go with anything. Also popular is the Ultra style. Which was the style of my first pair. But now I’m way into the Classic and would never change.
I’m not saying to wear them in the summer, because that would make you a total asshole. But if it’s under 50 degrees, you have my blessing to wear your Uggs. Wear them with sweatpants, spandex, jeans or pajamas. It’s all deadly.
I think the only people Uggs don’t look good on are people with stubby legs. I’m sorry, but it’s just true. They’re kind of clunky and they don’t streamline your leg unless your leg is already on the skinny side. And I’m not sure if they would hide cankles or just make them worse… I should investigate.
I haven’t even talked about the comfort factor yet. My sophomore year, when I had a pair of taupe Emu’s (the Ugg imitator, don’t worry, I have the real deal now but am going to continue to refer to this particular pair as Uggs) I wore them almost every day in the winter. I would take naps in them. Seriously. I’m not kidding. I would come back from class in sweatpants and Uggs, and crawl right into my bottom bunk (Have you ever napped on a bottom bunk? It’s heaven) and sleep for hours. And when I woke I would be so perfectly comfortable in my Juicy velour sweatpants and my toasty Uggs that I could have stayed in bed forever.
Last but not least:
I’ve already devoted a full post to Twilight, so I won’t take up too much of your time here. But I started off thinking that Vampire books for tweens were for losers and now I can’t get enough of them. I’ve only read the first 2 our of the 4-book series and I haven’t seen the movie yet. I think I’m going to watch the movie soon, and I think I’m going to fall in love with it. Hard.
But although I love the Twilight series (and by Twilight series I mean reading about Edward and Bella’s relationship) it does annoy me frequently. Because yes, the first book takes at least 200 pages to uncover the fact that Edward is a vampire when it has that information on the back of the book (but in her defense, when Stephanie Meyer wrote Twilight I doubt she expected it to take off to the point where everyone knew the basic story before reading the first page). And yes, when Jacob turned into a werewolf I had to put the book down for a little while and rethink what the hell I was doing with my life. But I got over it. And I kept on keeping on.
Aaaaand, I think that’s it.