Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Grievances and Complaints

So you may or may not know (or care) that TD Bank North merged with Commerce Bank forming TD Bank. Such a creative transition, I know. Whatever. But you would think, since it is 2009 and technology appears to be in full swing, that this merger would have gone more smoothly. Also, since we are in The Great Depression Part Deux, I would think businesses (and banks) would want to make absolutely all interactions as easy and user-friendly as possible for their customers.

Apparently not. I'm officially thinking about leaving TD Bank. The first and main problem is that all the Commerce Bank's that have changed over to TD are on a different computer and organizational system. What does that mean? When I want to deposit a check at one of those places (and no I don't have direct deposit, because I work in an apartment with a man) I have to fill out a special/different deposit slip and then wait for someone who is knowledgeable enough to handle my transaction.

The other week I waited somewhere in the vicinity of 7 minutes when there were ZERO other customers. I gave all of the employees the stink eye before dramatically/ceremoniously ripping up my deposit slip and storming out of the bank in a huff without depositing anything. I showed them! Or they could care less. Either way... Something must be done! Someone must be held accountable!

TD Bank North also used to have no ATM fees. You could take out cash literally every single day for a year from random convenience store ATMs and at the end of each month they would reimburse your ATM fees. It was magical. I think it might have been a dream. Because now you have to have something crazy like $2,500 in your bank account for no ATM fees. Thanks for nothing, TD Bank. Who do you think I am? John D. Rockerfeller?

My one allegiance to TD Bank North? Their spokespersons: Sam Waterston and Regis. I don't think you know the joy that entered my life the first time I saw Sammy Wats on TV for a TD AmeriTrade commercial. I was just so happy to see his face and couldn't stop thinking about how I wanted to buy whatever he was selling, and then there it was... MY bank. Jack McCoy endorses MY bank. What could be better? Nothing!

And it's not like I've watched Regis on anything other than when he gets interviewed on TV at the US Open every year, which I'm looking forward to in the coming weeks. From those interviews I have grown to love Regis as a sort of surrogate grandfather. Don't ask me why, just accept these feelings I have for him. That goofy old man. Who Wants to Be A Millionaire was good times, wasn't it? Damn you, Slumdog.

And if you think I'm not going to use the mention of Sam Waterston's name to spur a random collage of pictures of him, think again:

Ugh! Look at that punim! How adorable!

Super sexual.

Super duper sexual. I'm sorry, if I was over 60 I would totally j-off to Sammy Wats. What a silver fox.

No pictures for Regis, because a. I'm too lazy and b. Sammy Wats get special treatment, always and forever.

OK, I'll keep this one short because I don't have much else to say and this topic isn't particularly interesting. I just needed to vent about my banking trails and tribulations. I refuse to switch to Bank of America though, doing something like that, in my mind, is the equivalent of adding a show like Lost to my repertoire. Just because everyone else does it, doesn't mean I have to to. SOLIDARITY, SISTER!


slenslee said...

"if I were 60" please leifer, who are you fooling? we all know you bite your lip and close your eyes to that big bushy eyebrow sex icon.

Brooklynfluff said...

I'd stay at TD if I were you, what other bank has a free bowl of clicky pens at the deposit station? Or is that a perk that died with Commerce?

Brady said...

i can't believe i forgot to write about my love for their clicky pens! because that's the most genius marketing strategy ever because EVERYONE i know has one of those. and i have like 20. TD bank has taken the legacy of the clicky pens from Commerce and ran with it.

Ali said...

Solidarity is right! B of A is for fools and, unfortunately, I am one of them. When I moved to the great state of CA everyone was like "its either B of A of Wells Fargo out here little miss". So I decided to go with B of A – HORRIBLE MISTAKE – They charge you for even looking at another banks ATM machine, their colors are too patriotic for my liking and their sales people are rude!
I’m thinking of switching to CHASE, they’re new to CA and their radio commercials make me giggle.

Brady said...

I actually also belong to Chase. Don't ask why I have like 18 bank accounts... Cause it's actually only two. Anyway, I really like Chase and especially their envelope-less check deposit ATM system. SO EASY! And I'm also a big proponent of joining something that has advertising that turns you on, because that's the whole point! It's an exercise of positive reinforcement, in my book. Good/funny/not annoying ads = i will give you my business!