Monday, September 14, 2009

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Are people serious? I can’t even get over what has transpired in life in the past 24 hours. And by life, I obviously mean pop culture and other people’s lives. From my mental “BBMs from last night” folder I will share this: “This is the most drama filled night of my life”. Have truer words ever been typed?

First of all, Serena Williams. Seriously? In case you didn’t know, she flipped out on a lines judge for calling a foot fault on her at the US Open Semi-Finals yesterday. She yelled at the lines judge saying she would shove the fucking ball down her fucking throat. I mean, think that in your head. But don’t say it out loud. She got a point penalty for it, and it happened to be match point. So she lost. Good.

In her press conference she was talking about how she’d never been in a fight before. Please. Back when she was a newcomer she practically shoved her opponent to the ground once while switching sides. And then blamed her opponent for not moving out of her way and called her a racist. I’m pretty sure all of that happened. I’ve never been a fan of Serena, and I don’t think any of that is going to help her fan base or burgeoning fashion career. I can only hope that she has completely wrecked herself.

Next, Madonna. Get the fuck off of your high horse. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I don’t really care that Michael Jackson Died. Yeah his old music was great, but his greatness was dead long ago. But for Madonna to take the stage at the VMAs to open it with a tribute to Michael Jackson, and to talk about herself the entire time, was reprehensible. Seriously made me feel awkward in my own skin. I don't even have the energy to talk about the content of her bizarre speach, but here is a link since Youtube is not allowing me to embed it. Rude.

The only thing that could have potentially made it even more awkward would be if Madonna had been up there in some scantily clad outfit showing of her man body and oddly taught and muscular old-lady skin in some sort of leotard. Madonna, check yourself.

Onward. I have to say, I saw Kanye at the Jay-Z concert on Friday night and he was acting totally fine (if you didn’t pick that up, that’s me pretending to be friends with Kanye instead of seeing him on a stage from hundreds of yards away). But I don’t know what happened in between then and last night, but that man went crazy. Kanye always pulls moves like this, and it really doesn’t surprise me. Because I happen to know that he’s so obsessed with himself that he actually doesn’t care how ridiculous he gets.

Yeah, talk shit about George Bush in public. Like I care. That obviously made me like him more. And like anyone who likes George Bush listens to Kanye. I’m pretty confident that that Venn Diagram does not have any over lap. He’s done other stupid shit, but this was ridiculous.

You all better appreciate the amazingness of me making my own Kanye/George Bush Venn Diagram. God, if Miss Mirto, my 4th grade teacher and Facebook friend, could see me now... Oh wait, I guess she can...

Poor Taylor Swift. Just a little newcomer who has taken the music scene by storm and she gets booted off the stage by crazy Kanye. Whatever, shit happens. Beyonce obviously handled it gracefully. My favorite part was when Kanye first got on stage and started talking, the camera cut to Beyonce and you could see her mouth, “Oh my God, Kanye” as she was visibly mortified at what was going down. And then when she won in the end, for her groundbreaking, amazing, life changing video, “Single Ladies” (after her mind blowing performance of it), she let Taylor take the stage to finish her acceptance.

I’m actually kind of tearing up thinking about it. How Beyonce said how excited and nervous she was when she was first nominated for a VMA with Destiny’s Child. I was but a wee middle schooler, in love with the song “Say My Name”. Good times. Here is a poor quality video of Beyonce's amazing performance last night.

God. I want to be her. Side note to Beyonce, thanks for feeling so comfortable with me, but I really did not need to see your vagina during your performance of “Single Ladies” last night. Check yourself.

What I did not approve of was that Taylor didn’t emphasize her thanks to Beyonce or compliment Beyonce’s video, which seriously took the world by storm. If you haven’t seen the Single Ladies video I recommend you emerge from the rock you’re living under and take a gander. And I’m kind of pissed this wasn’t talked about more in an appropriate fashion, instead of how Kanye decided to bring it up. Because he had a valid point, he just presented it in the stupidest most horrible way possible.

The thing about Kanye though, is that he’s not going anywhere. He was probably drunk or something and that’s why he did that, but I don’t really think this is going to majorly affect his career. I’m sure he’ll make some sort of public apology. But even if he doesn’t, it really doesn’t matter. Kanye is seriously talented. I’m not a fan of every song he comes out with, but the good ones are really good. A mix of actually seriously artistically good and also really poppy and great. So although Kanye did not check himself, I do not believe he has totally wrecked himself, but that’s just me.

Lady Gaga. What? Like… What? She is apparently at the point where her art is so artsy that it doesn’t make any sense and is really weird and creepy. Like what she did was totally creative, but like you have the chance to be creative in almost any way possible and that’s what you choose to do? To mime your own death on national television via hanging by your arm? That shit was creepy. Seriously seriously creepy.

Lady Gaga seriously needs to check herself.

In closing, I will leave you with the best video/song you will watch/listen to ever.

J. Hova, ya heard?


Brooklynfluff said...

Uhh, more Venn diagrams please! Can I just say though, Beyonce and Taylor were wearing the same color dress during this whole debacle, I take this as an indicator of something...

Brady said...

I know. But I don't think it was planned. I just don't think Beyonce would want to be involved in that fake drama. And I also don't think Taylor Swift is a good enough actress to fake being that awkward and upset when it happened. But I do think Kanye is toolish enough to do something like that just because someone tells him to. So I guess I'm on the fence.

beryl said...

I heard Jay Leno had Kanye on his new 10PM show and he apologized. Forgot to tivo.

i am in love with any 20 year old that can beat Federer, who btw is just as full of himself as serena