Thursday, September 3, 2009

What is this? Wine opener. I'll take it.

Bargain shopping is an activity I hold near and dear to my heart. I think I just realized how intense that love is when I moved last week and saw how much shit (read: clothes, accessories… and anything else you buy in stores… or on the street…) I have. The reason I have so much shit is because if something is cheap I will buy it.

I can’t help it though, it’s in my blood. My heart races at the prospect of a good bargain or for paying less than others for something. And my problem is that it doesn’t always have to be something I love. Yes, it is way better when you’re really into something and then find a way to pay less for it. But if something’s really cheap and I think that there is any possibility that maybe one day I might need that thing, I’m going to buy it.

Us Jews do love a good bargain. Have you ever seen a non-Jew in Loehmann’s? Exactly. But Loehmann’s was where I did my high school bargain shopping. My college bargain shopping was mostly in the BP section of Nordstrom, and my current bargain shopping is mostly from the J.Crew sale website, and the occasional sample sale. When J.Crew reformatted their sale website last year I almost had a panic attack. I think actual tears formed in my eyes and I might have gasped and then yelped, “What’s happening!?!” in an office full of people. Whatevs.

So a couple of weeks ago I went to Staples to buy some stuff for work and they had, I shit you not, Staples brand spiral notebooks for 1 cent a pop. ONE. CENT. WHAT!?!??!!? I think I called 3 people from Staples screaming about the 1 cent spiral notebook special. I obviously bought 5 for my office, even though I only needed one. I’m sorry, that offer was just too good to pass up. And now my “company” is 4 cents deeper into the “red” or the “black” or whatever it’s called, but it was worth it. If you tell me something costs 1 cent, you can bet your ass you will have a fistful of pennies within seconds.

Buying things for a crazy bargain price is also my main way of sticking it to the man. That was the one thing I forgot to mention in my sticking it to the man post oh so many months ago.

Another bargain I’m really into right now is ordering from discounted restaurants on Seamless. For those of you who have been living under a rock, aka don’t live in New York, SeamlessWeb is an online food ordering website that restaurants subscribe to. And there a bunch of restaurants on the list that have 10-25% off discounts on your total order, but the discounted restaurants change each day. Sometimes I just browse Seamless to see if anyplace I like has a discount that day, NBD. But when I go to order something and my restaurant has a discount that day, it’s a damn good feeling.


Joseph said...

I honestly cannot wait for you to move out of the city so your bargain shopping obsession blows up into full-time hoarding. When you're 40, living in the burbs and constantly hitting antique shops, flea markets, and yard sales, that is going to be a site to see. ("It's a penny. I want it.") I would recommend A&E's "Hoarders" as therapy to get off that long, dark road. Good luck, daywalker, good luck.

Brady said...

um. my roommate and i went tag sale shopping 2 weekends ago in ct. it was magical.

applante said...

Jews love bargains, bagels, and chicken. You'd have a heart
attack if
someone sold $0.01 chicken bagels, either from the surprise or  
100 of them.

Brooklynfluff said...

Today I haggled my Chinese acupuncturist, so I feel you on getting a bargain at any cost. Side note: you should get into estate sales, cheap shit no one needs galore!

Sloan said...

I actually pulled over at a Yard Sale last weekend to buy a lamp. I was ready and willing to pay up to $3 for the lamp. When I got it for $1 (fucntioning lightbulb included) I almost more reason why I should convert.