Thursday, May 21, 2009

Best. News. Ever.

So apparently Lauren Conrad is writing a book. Like I haven't talked about reality starlets enough in the past 2 days? Buckle up for another ride on the reality train. HOW did I not know about this sooner!? Is it because I purposefully ignore all real and/or celebrity news until it is told to me 8th hand like a good/bad game of telephone? Probably. But I'm fine with it, because now I only have to wait like three weeks for the book to come out instead of hearing about this for months and DYING with anticipation. This is going to be legendary.

I don't really think it's possible for Lauren Conrad to not be successful. That doesn't even make sense since her clothing line folded (because it was awful) but what happened after her clothing line folded (even though they're playing it off like it's just closed for renovations)? She wrote a book! And if you think I'm not buying it the day it comes out (June 16), you're sorely mistaken, because unlike her clothes, it is going to be reasonable priced. But similarly to her clothing line- most of the work/brains was most likely not hers, which will not affect how I'm going to read and judge it. This book SHOULD be ghost written, if only because I need to be able to understand it. After all, it's not really possible to have a book full of blank stares and b-roll shots of L.A. (Lauren's signature move), is it? A picture book!? Done. I'll buy that too, and put it smack-dab in the middle of my coffee table, thank you very much.

After reading an excerpt of the new book L.A. Candy on Teen Vogue's website (what, you'd do it too) I am sooooo into this book. It's like a behind the scenes of Reality TV, and by Reality TV I mean The Hills. It's already addressing the questions I ask myself on a daily basis. How do the characters meet guys and go out on dates? Are they set up? IS THIS REAL OR FAKE!?!? What's going on!?!!? The excerpt I read seems to be hinting at answering all of these questions and getting all the dirty dirty Hills goss that we're all craving.

And now I hear KCav is going to be replacing Lauren on The Hills?

This doesn't even make sense. Is she going to be friends with all the girls? I'm not going to lie, I like KCav when she is separate from Lauren (because obviously I am always and forever on Team Conrad despite numerous first hand accounts that she is, indeed, a wet blanket). But I can't imagine that Lauren is actually going to allow this to go down. I actually thought I saw KCav on the subway last week and was like two seconds from asking this, most likely, completely random girl if she was Kristen Cavilleri, but instead I decided to stay put and stare at her through my sunglasses., which is something I do on the daily.

One thing about Laguna, The Hills and my life, that I really do truly believe in my heart is real, is the hatred between Lauren and KCav. Even if the situations they were put into were fake, there is no doubt in my mind that Lauren always liked Stephen (insert bleeding love clip) as more than a friend and that KCav ruined her life/dream/happiness. Those whores a year younger in high school will stop at nothing to steal your guy. I know from personal experience. And by personal experience I mean other people's experience combined with what I have seen on TV.

Don't worry, I just found a killer montage of Lauren and Stephen. ENJOY! the only thing that would make this better was if the song was "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis. So close yet so far.

1 comment:

erl said...

brady. i love your blog. come to dc this weekend. the end.