So I have this rule of thumb… and it goes a little something like this: Be nice to everyone. And by everyone I mean strangers and people who you are not friends with. It’s like the concept that some teachers use: “Everyone starts out the semester with an A”. That’s how I feel about people. Upon meeting you, you have an A. The first words out of your mouth could plummet you to an F if you’re not careful. But I’m still not going to be mean to you, because that is just bad form. I’m only mean or rude to people I know well enough that I know they will eventually forgive me for my meanness or rudeness (if I want them to…)
People who are rude to strangers boggle my mind. I know everyone doesn’t have friends like this, but at points in my life I have had friends who are outright mean all the time. One false move from a stranger and my friend is yelling at them in the middle of a bar. The music screeches to a halt and the entire bar watches as said friend tells off random girl she’s never met because that random girl accidentally touched her while trying to squeeze by her in a crowded bar. Incidents like that make me want to crawl into bed and never have social human contact again.
And so Facebook, along with all of my truly loved ones, falls in the category of “I know you well enough to be mean to you.” And here is my issue with Facebook today: What in the hell are these bizarre things you can become a “fan” of now. I had friends who were trying to start a magazine, so I became a fan of their magazine only later to find out that the magazine was a glorified nudey mag. I’m not talking about Maxim here, I’m talking about straight nudity. Of college students. But whatever, I’m a supportive friend/acquaintance, and if that’s how you want to make your money (or lose your money and ruin your reputation) then good for you. I’d be way less judgmental if I wasn’t an avid fan of Girls Next Door and cried EVERY episode. I don’t know why I cry every episode. I just know that I do. But I think it has something to do with the American dream and a bunch of trashy nobodies who are actually really nice people end up being famous and rich. Love IS actually all around us!!!!!! But my point here is that I became a fan of a "business" or a "website", not an abstract concept or general activity, that's what you're supposed to put under "Interests" in your profile.
I’ve gone to and fro my Facebook homepage twice while writing this so far. First I saw “4 of your friends have become a fan of Cuddling”… Really? What’s the opposite of interesting that sounds cooler and angrier than “uninteresting”, because that’s how I feel. The phrase “DON’T CARE” comes to mind. Everyone likes cuddling, that’s why dogs were invented, duh. And I’m pretty sure that’s why people are in relationships. I mean, I think the only reason I actually want a boyfriend is so that I have someone to cuddle with while I watch TV… Whatever. So I guess, technically, in life, I am indeed a fan of cuddling, am I going to add it to my Facebook page? NO. Because that would be pointless/stupid/dumb.
Then I clicked on something on my Newsfeed, and when I returned back to the homepage I see that “3 of your friends became fans of Not Being On Fire”… WHAT? Ok, great. Now I know that out of my 842 friends, 3 of them don’t like being on fire. This is soooooo stupid.
Sometimes I lay in bed at night and yearn for the days when Facebook was only open to college students and my best friend from when I was 5’s babysitter didn’t constantly harass me via wall posts and messages asking me what I’m up to these days and to send pictures of my parents. Uhhh… do you even know how to use Facebook, lady? Obviously not. Because if you simply clicked the “Info” tab on my profile you could see where I’m working. And if you looked at some of my tagged pictures, or looked through my albums, you would probably find my parents somewhere. Learn how to stalk me without bothering me to help you to stalk me. That is what Facebook is all about, and if you don’t realize that, then get the hell off.