LLOYD!!!!!!!

I hate when people hate Entourage. Like seriously, get off your high horse and realize that Entourage, like any person or thing, is not perfect. Few things are. Watching Entourage is an exercise of love, loyalty and tolerance. Yes, there are some episodes that are sub par. Some that are even downright awful. But the good ones are really good and they make up for the bad. On Entourage, you’re not watching 5 characters, you’re watching 5 people.

Other than Jeremy Piven they were all more or less nobodies before Entourage. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t know Adrien Grenier from Drive Me Crazy, the tween film he co-starred in with Melissa Joan Hart, because I did. But the rest of society did not. And like it or not, those actors are type cast in those roles forever. Could you ever watch Turtle play anyone other than Turtle? No. It would be bizarre.

Could you watch E play a real estate broker who is obsessed with Scarlet Johanssen (ew) but ends up dating Drew Barrymore? Well, that depends on if you’ve seen He’s Just Not That Into You, but the answer is No, it’s awkward to see any of these guys out of their Entourage rolls. It’s just… wrong. He’s also in the opening scene of The Ugly Truth. He needs to accept that he is, always and forever, E. Stop running from the truth, Kevin Connolly.

One main problem with Entourage is exhibited perfectly in this sketch… you might know how I feel about online videos, but trust me, if you have ever seen Entourage, ever, this one is worth your while.

The entire series is like a Will They? Won’t They? relationship between Vince and “the biz”. And if The Office has taught us anything, it’s that the will they won’t they relationship is to be kept waiting in the wings, not to be solved (Jim and Pam? Aka Jam. Duh.)

After its first season, Entourage became pretty hit or miss. Some episodes are great, and others are just meh. For example, two weeks ago it was amazing and Ari said, “I’m proud of you” to E and it touched my heart. And last week it was awful and stupid. But you have to stick with it. Like any relationship, you have to take the bad with the good. Suck it up and stick it through. That’s what she said. Oh boo hoo, you don’t want to watch Jeremy Piven say essentially the same thing every single episode? Get over it. It’s funny. Watch it and enjoy it.






Entourage is more than just a show. It’s an institution. It’s a right of passage for young actresses. That show featured Leighton Meester when she was nothing. Nothing! It’s the modern-day version of Seinfeld in that aspect. Which is saying a lot, I know. I’m not trying to actually compare Entourage to Seinfeld. I’m not that crazy. But Seinfeld had Courtney Cox when she was nothing. It’s a talent to become a pass through for a certain group of actors. And Entourage has that talent. Except for the slunt dating E right now, that anorexic bitch has GOT to go and/or eat a meal. And she's not quite a nobody since she's been in both Fool's Gold (embarrassing) and Nick and Norah (impressive)I can’t find any pictures of her on google image from when she decided to completely stop eating, unfortunately.

Entourage also kind of invented Malin Akerman. You might know her now from... Oh I don't know, EVERY movie that's come out in the past two years. The Heartbreak Kid, 27 Dresses, The Proposal... Ok, so maybe like three movies. But that's totally legit. A mere 2 years ago she was just the third in the E and Sloan threesome. And by just a third I mean E wanted to dump Sloan for her. E would pull a stunt like that. What an annoying little ginger elf. Anyway, my point is that Entourage has made her into a star. I credit Entourage and Entourage alone.


In summary: Even though the plots repeat themselves episode after episode, half the time I’m not even watching to see what happens. I just want to see these guys hang out with each other and smoke pot, because that’s what the show is all about at it’s core anyway, and that’s what has made it as successful as it’s been over the past 5 seasons.

So hunker down this Sunday with a fat/phat bowl and enjoy Entourage: An American Institution.