Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I Can't Stand the Rain

I know, most people hate the rain. I actually like the rain... but ONLY when I'm either hungover or planning on spending the day in bed. Because the rain makes things like that ok, when they are clearly socially unacceptable, and clearly something I did both Saturday and Sunday last weekend. Oops. But normally, I'm in the majority: The Rain Haters.

My main issue with the rain, other than the depressing gray sky getting the best of my self-diagnosed Seasonal Depression (SAD), is that there's no avoiding it. You use raincoats and umbrellas to combat it, but it's a losing battle.

My freshman year of college I took this American Literature class (which I didn't pay attention to the entire first half of the semester because every time I sat down to read my homework I would start obsessing over a boy who I made out with once and who didn't like me back. COLLLLLEEEGGGGEEEE!!!!). Anyway, we had this crazy hippie teacher (Lee Allen Carlton, I know you were dying to know his full name) and we read all of this crazy hippie literature. One of our books was about a Utopian society that had retractable awnings or a retractable bubble cover or something, that they put up whenever it rained. THAT. IS. GENIUS. So ever since then, every time it rains all I can do, as I walk on the street, is think how stupid humans are and why we haven't figured out a way to effectively shield us from the rain. It's actually pathetic that we haven't.

Umbrellas are the WORST. And as far as I'm concerned people who carry giant golf umbrellas on city streets are basically telling me they want me to take that umbrella and hit them over the head with it. Why in Gods green earth do you think you can take up an entire sidewalk with your umbrella so that you can get slightly less wet than EVERYONE else that is out in the rain? Rude.

I boycotted umbrellas for a while and went straight raincoat. Raincoats are way better, but their downfall is that they don't cover your bag/purse, or in my case, my North Face backpack I've been taking to work for the past 3 weeks. No big deal. I'm sorry, when I'm carting my computer back and forth everyday it's just the easiest option. I'm already lopsided enough from carrying a heavy bag, and I'm sick of it. This is me standing up to scoliosis.... and looking like a total bull dyke on a daily basis. But that's neither here nor there.

The other issue the rain poses is what to wear on your feet. Rainboots are fine for the winter, but they're hot and sticky in the spring/summer, and if it's already warm out, that's the last thing I need. So Since like junior year of college I've been wearing my Sperry Top-Siders in the rain. It's a pretty good choice. These things are like indestructible. They're water proof and they're comfortable. Done. Buuuuuuuut they don't help me look like less of a bull dyke, esp. in combination with skinny jeans... and the green North Face backpack. Yeah, it's green. Sexual.

Being wet from the rain is almost as bad as sweating when not working out or in a sauna/steam room. But what's even worse is being wet AND sweating from walking to work (or walking to the bus stop, whatevs). It's just soooooo miserable. And sticky. Ew. And I think it's been oddly rainy this year. It rains at least twice a week. And I'm sick of it.

I know there were more things I hate about rain, but I'm so over the rain that I can't even talk about it anymore. Wah!


Becky said...

were you obsessing over plante??

beryl said...

you paint a pretty picture - backback, shoes, raincoat...hmmmm which family member do you sound like?

BTW - I absolutely hate rain as well. Must be genetic. And yes I did sweat today i your city.

beryl said...

ugh - "in" your city. So much for proof reading

Sloan said...

#1 your blog made me think of the word "moist" - ewwe

#2 Lee Carlton was either a genius or a complete idiot. I had him and we spent like a month covering environmental terrorists who went around stealing bulldozers.

#3 I think you are referring to a Mr. Citizen Kane? Yes?

Brady said...

Sloaner, although Lee Allen Carlton was crazy, I think he might have been a genius. The book your referring to in the Monkey Wrench Gang and not only was it great, but it made me want to be an environmental terrorist. A topic which is addressed in Law & Order: SVU, which includes multiple episodes of Detective Olivia Benson going under cover as an environmental terrorist named Persephone. Ah. Mah. Zin.