Friday, June 5, 2009

Redheads we go hard, we go hard.

This is my second post about a redhead this week. This is also my second post in which I altered the song title, "Brooklyn we go hard" for a title. I'm sorry, the song is just too good and I use it in daily conversation too. Normal. And now I guess I have to make it my song of the day. This song makes me want to pack my bags and move to Brooklyn. Just kidding you guys, I'd die before moving to an outer burrough, let's be serious.

Wednesday night I was watching the episode of Curb where Larry waves to other Prius drivers because they have a special bond, redheads are kind of like that. We might not wave at each other, but we do have a special unspoken bond that stems from overcoming the hardships associated with being a ginger. It's our sense humor that sustained us as a people for 3,000 years. That's a Seinfeld reference. Tim Whately. Count it.

Conan is a pretty scary looking ginger, I'm not gunna lie about it. He's pale and lanky and just really gingery. But I do think that his humor paired with his general physical weirdness does make him attractive. But then again, if someone tells me a good knock-knock joke I will hop into bed with them in two winks of a coal-miner's eye, regardless of what they look like... Well, that's a lie, height also gets factored into that equation. But it's not necessarily a deal breaker. That's just how I roll.

Back to my fellow redhead: I've always liked Conan. Not enough to watch him on a nightly basis, because I prefer watching three repeats of Seinfeld on my DVR per night instead of talk shows, but when I did catch his show (Late Night with Conan O'Brien) back in the dizay, I always enjoyed it. It's not pee in your pants funny, but you definitely chuckle out loud (COL?) more than once. And he used to write for SNL, so what's not to love? (I actually just decided Conan's person motto should be "So tall and lanky, my suit it should thank me," courtesy of J Hova, ya heard?) My dad used to say he didn't like Conan because Conan's monologues always has too much "We have a great show for you tonight"s in them. Which is true.

And I still don't really understand what happened with the whole Jay Leno totally fucking over Conan by starting his own 10pm show. I really don't. And I am glad Conan got the Tonight Show and I do think Leno should have just bowed out cause his time was up or not given it away to begin with. But I am just waiting for the next doozey that they throw at us. Like when Jay Leno got the tonight show instead of David Letterman. I'm really just waiting for someone to move Chelsea Handler to network television, to be quite honest.

Conan's monologue on Wednesday night didn’t bomb, but it wasn’t a roaring success either. He finally wrapped it up pretty nicely by calling back most of the monologue in one sentence, and that got a good laugh. I enjoyed it. And then we have the guests. I’m already swooning in my desk chair and getting light headed thinking about Bradley Cooper. Calm down, Brady.

The first guest was Julia Louis Dreyfus, who I love love love. BUT, I have this thing with her where I love her on her shows, but out of character I’m just like not that in love with her. I went to see Letterman last year when she was on it and like her story was blah. Michael Cera was the other guest on Letterman that episode and he was like WAY better than she was. I mean she’s gorgeous and I want to be her, but I really think she’s just a great actress and not that funny of a person at all. It’s hard for me to admit that to myself, and to you, but there it is.

Her interview with Conan was fine, nothin spesh. Although there was one sketch that they did (it was pre-recorded) where she steals an Oscar from the Universal cafeteria and then Kenneth from 30 Rock comes on and tries to take it away from her and she knees him in the balls and yells “TAKE THAT MOTHER FUCKER!” and runs away. It was hi-larious. But that was written for her, that wasn't her being her. Acting again.

Then my boyfriend was the next guest. He is my boyfriend because a. He’s super sexual b. We have like almost the same name c. I am in love with him (If this was my roommate’s list she would replace my b. with “because his name is Sack in Wedding Crashers”). If you think I'm not a fan of his groundbreaking work in Failure to Launch, think again.

Bradley Cooper is about to take the world by storm. He is attractive and hilarious, and that is hard to find. I am usually attracted to unattractive people because of their hilariousness (as referenced earlier) and many hilarious people are unattractive. Am I talking in circles? Don’t care. But Bradley is simultaneously hilarious and ridiculously good-looking, which really throws me for a loop. Anyway, Bradley’s whole persona, his mannerisms, his mouth, the way he talks, his hair, his style AHHHHHH is just like the perfect package. Long hair, short hair, clean shaven, scruffy, DON’T CARE. It’s all deadly. My heart is pounding at the thought of him.

His one downfall is that he is definitely short. Everyone looks short next to Conan (except Kareem Abdul Jabar, who made a surprise appearance), but then when he stood next to Julia Louis Dreyfus he was only a few inches taller than her, and she’s 5’3”… So he is def under 6 feet and that’s just not ok. If he was over 6 feet tall I would already be in LA stalking him.

Soooooo, what was the point of this entry? Hmmm... Conan on the Tonight Show gets a B, Julia Louis Dreyfus is only good when in character, and Bradley Cooper is going to file a restraining order against me in the near future.

On an unrelated note: I just had subway for lunch (wattup meatball parm) for the first time in over a year and it was spectacular.

And now, a treat to brighten your rainy Friday:


Jessica said...

1. STOP trying to take my man Bradley Cooper.
2. If this was your roomate's list, she would say A) he had an amazing breakthrough performance as Will Tippin on JJ Abrams' hit show "Alias"
3. Despite my falling asleep before either of Wednesday's Conan guests came on, I give it a B as well.

Brady said...

i will only address comment #4, it was only a 6 inch.

Sloan said...

Being born a ginger and unfortunately transitioning into a strawberry blonde puts me in the worst of both worlds. Deep down, in my heart, I feel a connection to gingers, but lets be real I'll never be accepted. So I'll just float through blonde purgatory. Thanks for rubbing it in.

On a lighter note - I want to spread Bradley Cooper on a cracker and eat him.

Becky said...

bradley cooper is god, doih.